Showing Me Slowly

I sit here deprived of sleep tonight. I'm not entirely sure why, but God sometimes uses the stillness of the night to speak to us closely. More closely than in the light of day-when even the sights we see sprawled out in ever direction can distract us.

I have Chris Tomlinson songs playing on repeat.. The same three over and over again, but I can never get enough of the message they embody. Now mind you they say the same as different verses I've found in the Bible, but hearing the sang with such passion always reaches deeper than I expect them to.

"I Will Follow" is actually one of the songs that inspired this blog. God is so good! I skimped on my posts here recently. Not on purpose of course, but with the recent holidays being more rooted in family than most I took a much needed break from all social media in general. Which brings me to my next point--upon my return home from college I found out the amazing news that my youngest brother had gotten saved and was baptized this last Sunday night. On top of that, another precious gift happened following that very service with my brother's baptism, but then my younger sister accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and savior!!!

I'm just so excited about it all:). So today I have so many thoughts stirring and welling up in my mind that I feel it's intended for me to blog about them..I keep trying for the issue of foreign missions, yet they always fall through. I've been embarrassed in the past realizing that I bragged- and not just that but diminished His plans before they had been set in motion. I always secretly hoped that each calling placed on my heart would be different than the last. How many times He gives us chances to get things right truly amazes me. He used my humanness to build me slowly. It hit me so hard earlier--how I could be so blind. "Let faith arise, open my eyes.."

When I go I have to be ready.... Spiritually, ready to fight His spiritual warfare acting as a tool for His teachings..... Mentally, saying goodbye to all I know and hold dear, while I'm there making Him my only focus.........and physically, prepared that if this life I lose-that I'll be doing so for Him.

He placed ministry on my heart, but He did so in a way that He has slowly shaped me, molded me, into what He sees for me. Slowly giving me time to adjust. I feel so humbled and blessed, but most of all more ready than before