One step closer

Ever have one of those moments where you feel like you miss something that you're not really sure was ever really yours truly in the first place?? I'm sitting here typing and for what? So a few people can glance casually at the opinions of me-a young college kid- while still hoping that it makes some kind of impact on someones life. My heart longs for being in the mission field so much that it hurts me physically..(aside from the aspect that yes I am sick and sound like a raspy version of myself) It really truly makes me long for familiarities that I had in the past; from the time when I went to school at Harding and was able to attend a church that I had been a member of for about ninety percent of my life, to sitting in church sermons in foreign languages hoping that I would be back in America soon. 

I don't know about every one else but my biggest problem is never really taking the time to slow down and be like "man..this is nice. How blessed am I?" Nope, I deviate from that and I'm always going full speed to the next page of my life not wanting to linger long enough to get bored. Contentment just isn't my strong suit, which brings me to my point--where is that balance of striving to better this crazy world and getting lost in it while searching for the next big adventure?? How can we overcome the barrier of not becoming part of this world while still trying to witness to it?

I'm at college now. The one place that I was specifically warned ahead of time that my personal spiritual walk would be a struggle, and I have to admit all those people who warned me were so right. It's different when you're out on your own and no one's there to safe guard your steps. Anyways, earlier I was sitting outside in deep conversation with one of my neighbors who had been through a lot of trials and tribulations in the short amount of life that he has lived. Most girls would mark him as scarred for life, someone who had been stuck in situations that would make any normal person cry. As I sat there and watched him talking to me as if I was simply some long lost friend I couldn't help but think to myself about how I had dreamt and longed for the same type of friendships I had formed while I was in Switzerland..and crazy enough that same type of openness found me. God works in mysterious random ways. Out of the blue the call I've felt for ministry in Africa hit me so hard I almost cried. By simply taking the time to listen I realized a dream I thought I had tarnished to the point of being unattainable to me anymore. Everything happens for a reason and now I can actually say I'm hopeful again. Something so far away and forever in the future feels a bit closer now. I mean come on now it's AFRICA. :)


being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6
(TNIV)